The 16 Stages of the Glastonbury Experience

The 16 Stages of the Glastonbury Experience. Glastonbury Festival is around the corner. Over the years I have seen it all down at Worthy Farm. A Woman crying outside the gates on opening day because she had come in high heels and a Louis Vuitton suitcase.

A guy so drunk that he fell asleep outside the festival and others that had brought so much gear that they were exhausted before the 5 days of madness had even begun. I suppose that is why I started this website. I wanted people to be prepared for what Glastonbury entails.

So in honour of all of us punters who head down to Worthy Farm every year, I present The 16 Stages of the Glastonbury Experience.

Constantly Checking The Weather Report for Glastonbury

Glastonbury has its own micro-climate. Bring clothes for all types of weather. Glasto newbies are obsessed with the weather. Yes, a dry Glastonbury is better than a wet one but in my 10 Glasto’s heat has been more of a problem. Weather is just the weather. We can’t do much about it. Just be prepared.

On The Way To Glastonbury

You wake up early. The car is packed and ready to go. You have the Glastonbury Playlist on, the excitement is full on. Let’s go and have the best five days of our lives!

When you spot another car heading to Glastonbury

Waiting In The Glastonbury Queue

You get to the queue, the excitement is still there and then you wait and wait and wait. Some people we know will be like the guy below.

Others would have brought so much with them they will look like this:

Receiving The Glastonbury Wristband

Finally! You have been in the queue so long you have a beard. All that is forgotten as the Glasto volunteers put on that Glastonbury Wristband. (Glasto tip: always put the wristband on your non-dominant arm! You can thank me later). That feeling of entering the festival never diminishes.

Setting Up Camp At Glastonbury

The funny thing about festivals is that it attracts lots of people who don’t normally camp. So you get to see some funny attempts at putting up tents. Luckily, Glastonbury is super friendly so you will always find a helping hand.

Wednesday & Thursday at Glastonbury

Your tent is up. All your mates are in. Now all you have to do is have the best 5 days of your life. I will never forget wandering around the site at my first Glastonbury. The gifs above capture what was going through my head perfectly. Awe and amazement. They build a city in the middle of nowhere. A city full of world-class entertainment and the friendliest inhabitants.

Trying to see every act at Glasto

We have all done it. We have seen the Glasto Lineup and decided we want to see band after band. The trouble is, one band is on The Woodsies Stage and the one is on The Park Stage right after. On a good day that takes about 40 minutes. Add 210,000 people, distractions and toilet breaks and there is no way you will be at the start of the next set. It is better to choose just a few acts you want to see and go with the flow for the rest of the festival.

Entering The Long Drops at Glastonbury

They are not as bad as Renton’s encounter with the worst toilet in Scotland. They get better every festival but for Glastonbury virgins, the toilet situation is probably the biggest fear they have. Glastonbury Tip: Try to use the toilets away from the main stages and try to go during a set not at the start or end.

Peaking Too Soon At Glasto

I have witnessed some right sights at Glasto. The temptation to go mad from the start is real. I have fallen for it a few times. Ideally, you want to peak by Saturday night and have a chilled one on Sunday. It is easier said than done though!

Trying To Find The Secret Bars At Glastonbury

Trying to find The Underground Piano Bar and The Rabbit Hole is becoming as important as watching the main acts at Glastonbury. People have gone to extreme lengths to find them (me included). It adds to the Glastonbury experience.

Getting Emotional At Glastonbury

Glastonbury is an assault on the senses. It is exhausting, exhilarating and mad. I have constantly seen seasoned performers play there and break down. It is the same with us in the crowd. I am constantly crying! Tears of joy though, tears of joy. Apart from when I lost two tents!

Watching The Legends during The Sunday Legend Slot at Glasto

The Sunday Legend slot at Glastonbury is where the crowd dress up. Well, some people dress up every day but the legend slot is where people really push the boat out. I have seen some fantastic outfits for Lionel Richie, Kylie and Dolly Parton.

Watching The Last Act At Glastonbury

You have just had the best 5 days of your life and as the last act leaves the stage you realise that tomorrow morning you have to go back out to the real world. None of us want to go. It is not fair!

Monday Morning At Glastonbury Festival

I looked so bad after my first Glastonbury that the woman in Burger King gave me the food on the house and brought it to my table. Now, we stop off at a trucker’s cafe. When we walk in full of mud/sweat/glitter the people literally stop what they are doing just like in a bar in a Western Film.

Back At Work After Glastonbury

You are sitting there staring at your computer. The latest e-mails have dropped. You have a meeting about quarterly forecasts coming up. Nobody understands. They will never understand unless they go. You want to be back in a field in Somerset with your tribe. The comedown is hard.

When You See Someone Wearing A Glastonbury Band Weeks Later

We are now family. Many times people have come up to me when they spotted my Glasto band and chatted about the festival. I do the same. When you know you know.

See you on the farm!