Glastonbury Ticket Day. F5, F5, F5, F5, F5. My goddamn finger is going to fall off because I have pressed F5 so much. My heart is beating faster than it has ever before. I feel sick. I have locked the cat outside and my office looks like NASA’s control room. Laptop – check, Ipad – check, mobile on 4g – check. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because it is Glastonbury, that’s why.
All notifications are off. Close all tabs. Make sure the wifi is working well. It is 08:30, I better check on the other people in the pod to see if they are awake and all setup. (Even though we have been chatting on Whatsapp all week).
Double-check the spreadsheet. Warn people not to call, knock on the door or breathe between 09:00 and 09:30. Have my 10th coffee. It is having no effect whatsoever. Shit, it is getting closer to 09:00 now.
I better have that last pee. I have a random WhatsApp message from one of the group asking a random question. Now, they ask that! We have had all year to discuss this. How dare they.
Sit back down at my control centre. Shall I try the official link or the one that some random on Reddit swears by? Maybe I will try both. Go on See Tickets at 08:50 hoping that I get straight to the ticket page before everyone else. Note to self, make friends with everyone who works at See Tickets. Another note to self, learn to become a hacker.
Imagine if I secured tickets by 09:05. Open the champagne and start dreaming of the fields of Avalon. Home. Friends. Music. Stone Circles. Underground Piano Bars. Faith in humanity is restored even just for a little while.
How did it get to this? I remember the days of just buying a Glasto ticket when I felt like it. Why did I tell all my friends how amazing Glastonbury is? Why the hell did I start this website saying how amazing it is!? Now there are 1 million of us trying to get 140,000 tickets. Why don’t they put the festival on 3 times a year? Why don’t they buy all of Somerset and make the festival bigger?
Maybe I should start a band. How hard can It be to secure a performing spot at Glastonbury? There are 120 stages. Surely, we would get a gig on one of them. The Hari Krishnas are always at Glastonbury. They seem like a nice bunch. Yep, next year I will join the Hari Krishnas.
In the next 30 minutes, I am going to either be ecstatic or super sad. If I get the tickets I will tell the world about it and start planning even though the festival is 7 months away. If I don’t I will say, oh well, I have been 10 times already. That’s fine, I can go to other festivals.
But Glastonbury isn’t just another festival. So, I will start looking at ticket resale dates and hope that over the next few months, every ticket holder gets pregnant (even the men). Note to self, join the SAS and learn how to survive living off the land for weeks.
If I don’t get a ticket in the resale surely I could just sneak in? Michael Eavis encouraged this in the past. How hard can it be to hide in 1,000 acres of farmland? Note to self, become a farmer at Worthy Farm.
Where were all these Glastonbury fans in the past? When it was a washout, and full of hippies? This new lot doesn’t deserve to be there. Of course, they do, I am just bitter.
I am sweating. This is horrible. Maybe they should just do a random lottery-type thing. That way it would be the luck of the draw. How the hell do some people manage to get over 30 tickets? Am I missing something? Note to self must buy a house next to Worthy Farm.
God, imagine I get through and it crashes or the 2 tier security system of my debit card messes up. No, get out of my head negative thoughts. The Glasto Gods will look down on me favourably.
09:00 and go! F5, F5, F5, F5, F5.
Did we get tickets? What do you think? See you on the farm! (We hope).
Good luck people!